Pictures

So this is by far the most risky (and therefore, probably the dumbest) thing I've done yet.

Our birthdays are right after one another. This week. Surely this is some kind of kismet? Or am I reaching? He is older than I am, by a few years, but still, I find it interesting that our birthdays are so close.

Obviously, we can't buy each other anything. I'm broke, and his wife handles their bills. Doing anything together is out. Well, doing anything together outside my office is out. Giving the other anything that office people might see or notice is beyond stupid.

So, as I had a little time to myself over the weekend, I pulled out my digital camera, put on some cute clothes, maybe didn't button up all the way, and snapped some pictures. I got braver as I went, and as a result, I have some pictures that I'm not sure will ever see the light of day. Remember, I'm just a little librarian type (complete with bun) that's just now getting used to this whole fearless temptress thing.

I sent him six pictures yesterday, to the secret email account. He looked at them last night, and this morning, he practically plowed me over. No kidding. He likes to hold his cards close to his chest. I am rarely, if ever, in a position of power in the relationship (if you could call this that, and I'm not sure about that). This morning? I had him eating out of the palm of my hand. I also had another six pictures to send him.

Yesterday he made an office visit (the place was a graveyard- we had little to no supervision), while I was on the phone with someone who really didn't matter a bit, business wise. It killed me to be on the phone while his hands and mouth roamed my body- I almost hung the phone the fuck up at one point. I could feel him getting hard when he pressed up against me, but when I reached out with my hand, he grabbed my wrist. Again with this point of no return business. Before I knew it, I was alone in my office with my bra undone.

I'm tempted to send him some of the other pictures, but I'm not sure I'm happy with them. I'm all self-concious and wormy about it. He hates that part of me, so better to leave them where they are (in a secret hidey hole on my personal portable hard drive) until I can own them properly. He likes confidence, and he's good at building mine.

If I can ratchet up the confidence to send them, I'm pretty sure that they would send him over the edge. I don't like the bra I'm wearing in one set, it's weird, and the ones where I'm wearing no bra.... well, I don't know. I look at these pictures, at the curves and the lines and my milky white flesh, and I can see the beauty in a lot of it. I can appreciate what he appreciates. On the other hand, I couldn't pay my husband to pay this kind of attention to me, the attention that my (soon to be? at what point does it *count*?) lover does, and that makes me wonder. The last man to have seen me completely naked for the past twelve years is wholly unimpressed. Is that his fault, or mine. I guess we'll find out, and soon.

Biz trip update: I'm booked. He's still tentative. I'm reserved, as it's just really too good to be true. He, on the other hand, has already provided me with a list of things to bring........

PS: Yes, I cropped my face out of all of them. My tattoo, on the other hand? Couldn't crop that out.....